Extremely Nervous About WHAT'S NEXT

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Adjunct teaching since 2001 at CUNY & never knowing each term if my classes will run so that I will be earning enough to pay rent is very, very difficult on top of the ongoing fear of losing health insurance. I have taught the full number of hours allowed plus an extra office hour each semester EXCEPT when told on start of classes that it has not been filled. I have been told that new hires in my department have knocked some of us adjuncts off & now that Pathways will also break us with hours changed to less each class. I am extremely nervous about WHAT’S NEXT and to discover ‘it’ at the last moment too. Why can there not be better/clearer class registration for students so that adjuncts could respectfully function as CUNY educators?
How wonderful it would be to live without such insecurities (Sword of Damocles) hanging overhead. I can spend days or long hours prepping for starting a semester’s class & have it disappear just as it was to begin. I cannot apply for other adjunct jobs - as I would not then be 'open' for what this inst. may (or may not) offer me each upcoming term & I do not wish to lose the place I do cling to. Needless to say, I work hard and diligently for my students. When we have long periods off work-between semesters we are not allowed to receive unemployment - even though that money is taken out of our checks. Can we not find a better balance of conditions? I don’t see why this should not be a high priority.