DAVY, THE
ADJUNCT...AND GOLIATH
Howard Pflanzer
SCENE: Goliath in
profile is staring up at the sky. Davy enters,
takes out stone, puts it in his sling shot and
shoots Goliath.
DAVY
Hello, Goliath.
GOLIATH
(Turns around to
the audience. There is a large lump on his forehead)
Ow. Who did
that?
DAVY
It’s me., Davy.
GOLIATH
I don’t see you.
DAVY
It’s Davy, the
invisible adjunct.
GOLIATH
Adjunct?
Adjunct? How dare you bother me?
DAVY
Just some
consciousness-raising. Study with the best.
(Primes his sling
shot with another stone)
GOLIATH
(Touches lump on
his head)
You did that?
DAVY
It’s only one of
my many talents. Me and my ninety five hundred
friends keep this university afloat. Teach over
fifty per cent of the classes.
GOLIATH
Study with the
best. We’re known for that.
DAVY
Big bucks on
ads. No money for us.
GOLIATH
Adjuncts give us
flexibility. Make us competitive.
DAVY
Pay up or shut
up.
GOLIATH
How about we
feature you and a few other adjuncts in our ads?
Would that satisfy you?
DAVY
No way. Trying to
buy us cheap.
GOLIATH
Get out of here.
You’re wasting my time.
DAVY
The clock is
ticking. If you don’t pay attention now, you’re
liable to get another lump on your head.
(Primes his sling shot)
